I used to be anorexic . Then fell into bulimia. And for the last 2 years I’m not able to stop myself from binging. And I’m trying not to revert to bulimia . I dont know how to stop or why I just don’t. I’m embarrassed and depressed. Now my health is bring affected by the high weight… Hard time breathing, dizzy, hard to get up from sitting, socks are hard to put on, can’t cross legs, etc. I joke about my weight and make fun of myself, especially when I’m with my bff of ten years who is anorexic. But inwardly I’m not happy, my self esteem is at an all time low, my health is a worry, and old behaviors are tempting. Sorry for the rant. I have no one to talk to about this.
1987 July 31
https://www.theweathernetwork.com/news/articles/black-friday-deadly-edmonton-tornado-remembered/33051
I remember. I was there. I was 6 but I will never ever forget
I like the idea
I surrender all
This is the my prayer
9A
currently in hospital… still…. prayerfully going from here to treatment….
bipolar acted up…
been forever since i posted here….. feeling mixed about life…. i was interrupted during an attempted overdose on heroin…. yes, interrupted 
mixed moods are settling down… started a new med today too
ed is at bay kinda…
feel free to message me…
gtg for now
point form update
-cw-158.8 lbs, 5’3, disgusted…. ugw -84
-fired my sponsor, therapist and quit my job all within the week… a few days even
-embarrassed to leave the house… people stare because im fat
-must tidy apartment….. later lol
-burned my knees lol
thats all for now… feel free to ask questions
peace
Just breathe
Fat and worthless. I can’t believe I ate myself this big. Disgusting. 165lbs and only 5’3. Will post progress daily from now on to be accountable. It’s going to go down. Will say CW on scale tomorrow morning. If this blog triggers you, unfollow. There is more to come.
The porcelain god
I’m going back to restricting. It’s more practical and effective and long term. I can fast no problem but I end up gaining weight back post fast binging. That’s just a waste. I hate b/p more though. I figure I can fast anytime. I’m going to try just restricting for now though. I have like 73lbs I want to lose
Stats are as such
Hw was 180 in February
CW is 157.6, 5’3, age 34, ugw 85
That’s all for now
Off to bed…. Too much purging
Tomorrow the restrictions start
Kat
The 75 lb journey
Fast- day 1
Sw and cw – 159.6
5’3 age 34
Ugw -85
Used to be 89… I can do this.
Will update cw daily
Kat
Life clean and sober
I have just over a month clean and sober. I am still homeless but in a safe place off the street. I am grateful for that. I am overcoming my eating disorders and yet I am fighting recovery, stupidly planning to return to fasting and restricting once I’m in my own place. I know that sounds stupid and crazy . It’s how I feel though. I am watching insidious 3 in my room. I am praying for an apartment or basement suite for Feb 1st. I am waiting for addiction treatment also. Plus not self harming. I can’t engage in self harm or ed or addiction while here. I will remain clean and sober and self harm free…. but I’m ambivalent about ed. Anyway, I’m rambling so that’s all for now. ..
enchantedenigma1981 